Help!!! *>.<*

[Usagi]

Guys! Im so sorry this is off topic.....But...I dont know how to handle this one at all!!! Ok Ok!

My (ex) Firend, Alicia is getting married to a guy I cannot Stand!- And to top it off- this guy is the one who ruend our friendship perminitly.- But She asked me to be a Bride maid for her wedding, ....

And I said- When is it?
What about College?? (shes on her first year and semester, and so is he)
She dont drive
They dont live togeather
and just everytihng about it is times just so wrong!-
And what makes this worse is that they have only been dateing a yar, and that "engagment ring"- was like, her first year aniversery gift.....What comes Second.getting knocked up?

I really do not like this guy at all!- I could NEVER talk to her, because he would back her up and tell her not too- and whenever he was not around, she would try to talk to me like nothing is wrong, and I would feel so...I donno.....but If my boyfriend wanted me to stop talking to my firend bcause of some unknown ression- I would tell him literly to piss off, this is my friend...but she dose not. ....

And to not sound jealous or anything, but she is the type who wants to marry Every guy she meets (if you do not date her for more then 2 years, she dumped you for not perposeing)- Litterly, I have seen this happen.- And she is Insaighnly obbsessed with Roamnce and wanting to Have babys, and Loves the fact of being Knocked up 24/7.....Im not kidding

This is what pretty much ruiend our friendship- And she I tihnk is makeing a very big Mistake.....

Do you guys think Im just being overdremattic?...I mean....She is only 19 and he is 19 too....What do yall think.....

[takematsu]

Having watched this sort of thing from the outside, I have this advice:
1) Be sure you're not responding to some personal beef with Chap. Just because he's wrong for you, he may not be wrong for your friend. Be VERY certain of your motives.
2) Deep breathing. If you get anxious and over-excited while laying out the reasons Chap is "Mr. Stinkbug 2004", it will LOOK like it's a personal beef. Calm and reason = right. (2a-- don't overdo it; never actually say "Mr. Stinkbug", as it's slightly provocative)
3) Don't cut the friend off to indicate disapproval of Chap. If it turns out you're right, she'll really need the support of friends, and the more the better. (3a-- don't gloat if you're right)
4) If friend is inclined to cut you off over the whole thing, don't take it too personally. Remember, if you're right, then she's not thinking too well right now, so you can hardly hold such things against her. Reconciliation is always possible (see 3).
5) Basic underlying premise: People do stupid things, and you can't stop them. Don't go crazy trying.

SO, go, be a bridesmaid, be a stand-up friend. She's asked you, so she's interested in rebuilding the bridge-- build from your side too. As far as the rest of it goes, see if you can't arrange for her to see a few desperately unhappy women with huge mobs of children. Has she taken care of any squalling, cholicky babies lately? That may do the trick. On the other hand, maybe "Mom" it the sum-total of her ambitions. A worthy and difficult job, and if she's good at it, fine. See point 5 above, and keep yourself on your own chosen course.

[miyamoto musashi]

.......wow.....thats uh.....not too good.

[Usagi]

takematsu- Thanks for your advice, She told me this last night on the internet, so I was filled with uncertin emotions on how to really handle this, because she had done this befor.

This was not the first time she got engaged, When She was 16 her boyfirend then Perposed to her, (only to make me jealuse, because I broke up with him a week after getting with him because all he obviously wanted from me, was Sex and Kissing- and I was not ready for any of that one a week of Dateing so I dumped him)Then after a cuple of weeks, like a month I think, He broke it off, I never said anything to her about anything she dose wrong, I am anything but someone who rubs things in peoples faces (Exspeacilly if I know I am right)- I was there for her threwout her hardship- But I also got aware the only time she wanted to do anything with me , is if it was over Sex- or babys- And she drifted away from me, and tht hurt a lot-

I was neaver mean to them in High School, and I dont see her or him anymore, cense we all graduated, And Alicia and I stoped being firends our 10th grade year of highschool or more like, just drifted apart. I can honestly say, I have moved on from her, and want to go forward in my life. i know I have changed a lot, and Having Children is not part of my priorative, right now.

We Acctually took a class were we took care of Small Children. But, we had the Children at different times of the day. I remember she got them douring Story time and nap- Which is not a hard factor to do- Read and put them down for a Nap.I had the Children douring Snak time and Play time. The only difference with us was, I set up games and events of the week for the Children to do, and made creative snaks. I bonded well with the Kids, and acctually learnd I really Enjoy Teaching Children and playing with them- as a teacher, because thats what we did - But Alicia tried to be their Mother. -Which was something you arenot suppose to do....And she stressed out way to easy, over them , and complaind in the afternoon after school how hard it was, but I coped with the fact, and Did very well.- But this makes me NOT wantto have children...

She is the Only Child in her Family, So she has no Children and has Never babysat or been around children except for that one semester in School. So far as I know-
She said that the engagment is goingot be a long one, like 4 years....So- I mean I said I will be a part of her marrage, (I just dont want to be "firends" with her again) and Do my part, but I have moved on , and such....And I dont feel like i really should be a part of her life, as much as she wants me too, because I have my oen life now...