I need Older People advice #

Usagi · Post by **Usagi** » Tue Feb 03, 2004 20:45 -0700

I donno if I can evin postthis up hear... But I figyerd I could give it a try, And that most the people on hear are older and Wiser and have been there nad back again , you guys can give me some advice.

Ok, I have never Ever had a real Boyfirend, and My mom is makeing me go to my Siniour Prom! *panics*- None of the dresses fit me, Im Smaller then your Avarage American Girl, and all the dresses I try, they are all to big inin ......EVERYWARE!

And so, Im now trying ot get a date, Heith, He is a guy from in both my art classes, he is so sweet to me, and we talk well with one another. he knows I am going to the prom, but I havent told him I am Single, I REALLY want to go to the Prom with him, and the best part is! he is not takeing his Ex Megan with him!- And....I really like this guy, honnestly cense the 3erd day of school probubly, but were just starteing to talk, and yea, hes a "prep"- to say bluntly, but he dose not treat people bad at all, we are oppocites to the max, in terms of intrest and dress, but ...Is that wrong?

finally did it! I asked Heith out to the prom!!!!- He dident say no!- he said he would go with me, if he thought about going this year.-So- Is that bad thing?

I asked a firend and he said " Heith just dident want to hurt your feeling and said "IF" he thought about it, most likely, hes not going to- guys are mean like that"

And It made me think....Are guys like that?.....now its got me thinking...But Heith did notice me in the hallways to my other classes and in art, but we really dont talk all to much, but if He dident like me enough to take me to the prom, If that being mean?

goandal · Post by **goandal** » Wed Feb 04, 2004 12:23 -0700

Give him a Usagi Yojimbo comic book and for sure he'll go with you to the Prom!

But seriously, just have a good talk with him. Ask him if he's for real about taking you to the prom and trust on his word.

If things don't go the way you want, besides the dress and the drama of boy/girl relationships...don't take it too personal. You have a lot of years ahead of you of meeting friends, finishing your education, work, etc...

Just be yourself and accept people for who they are.

I hope this helps you.

Qion · Post by **Qion** » Wed Feb 04, 2004 14:01 -0700

Well, I'm surely not older than you, but I think I could give a try advising you(of course I hope you won't listen to me, 'cause if you would and fail, it would look like it was my fault

). How did you ask him to go out with you? I mean, how did you phrase it?

Usagi · Post by **Usagi** » Wed Feb 04, 2004 15:03 -0700

How did you ask him to go out with you? I mean, how did you phrase it?

I took him by his arm, because he did not hear me call his name after Art class, and I pulled him to the side and I asked, him " Cense, you do not have a date to the Prom, I was wondering if you would like to go with me?- If you want to."

goandal and Qion , We did talk today, He still dose not rweally know if He is going to go or not, I did tell him some things my other firends have said about him lieing to me or not, And he gave me this loooook, and I knew it was not true, "HE REALLY WOULD" take me. - But he said He went last year, and he did not have a very good time, so- how do you think I could get him to really go?

Hes not my BF, mind you he is just a "Crush" ^//^ And If he really did not like me, I think he would have said no to me.- But then, I think he is more firend to me, I do not think he would be interested in becoming a real gf/bf relationship ....at least....not yet.

I do accept people for who they atre, the problum is me, I want them to accept me for who I am, Like I said, Im not that Avarage..

I know that if he wont go its not the end of the world, and yea. its takeing forever to find the right dress that will fit, and so on, I have really big plans for my life, no dought, I jsut wantto have a good first Date Exsperiance befor im 20...-.-*.....Iv not evin been kissed yet, im that awfull about guys...

takematsu · Post by **takematsu** » Thu Feb 05, 2004 18:38 -0700

<Slides in the "serious advice speaking" dentures and dims lamp to hide grayness of beard>

There is a very good chance that the way he's acting is laying the groundwork for not going without having to look like a big mean jerk. This might mean that he has some interest in you, but isn't really sure of himself. On the other hand, it could just be that he doesn't want others to see him as the jerk he is....

I would suggest a couple of things. Thing 1-- Get some kind of commitment, is he going, yes or no. Don't be mean about it, but explain that plans need to be made, one way or another. That's true, right? Thing 2-- Find out who amongst your friends (of either gender) are going, arrange to go as a bunch, and have a mad fun time whether Buddy attends or not.

I had a similar problem once, but it turns out my date really had fallen in the tar pit while fleeing the Neathanderthal gang from up the street....

Usagi · Post by **Usagi** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 5:23 -0700

Eh, hes not a really big jurk, hes real nice, to everyone really that I do see him talk to, I think He would be a guy who would keep hid word, But Just in case he cant go, Iv already had a back up plan with some buddys to go ^^- I dont think he would lie to me, He still very, talks to me and Im notthe type to pressure an Event on someone, Exspeacilly if I like he ^^* Im real shy about that, and dont want to run him off, I understand if he cannot go, he cant, And it would be nice, but I do know I got years ahead of me in the looking for the right guy, Alot of my forends say that I should go after him, but I keep my distance, because, as you said, I dont really know if he has feeling for me, the way I hope, or not, But what I'v been doing so far, it doing well, we still talk no less, and he dose not avoide me at all,- A lot of the other people Iv talked to say that all guys are jurks, and I just thought to post it hear, were they' are more guys hear, who might be able to give me some freandly advice, which I really appritiate alit ^^ - thanks

Qion · Post by **Qion** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 5:34 -0700

Well, if he's not avoiding you, that's okay. And you've said about the "loook" he gave you. Women can deffinitely tell much more from a look than guys. So he's probably really not sure yet.
Maybe if you could persuade him, that with you it might not be so dull, as the last bal he attended...

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 10:06 -0700

Well ok, Im in my cooking class now, and Iwont see Heith (the guy I like ) Till Monday, I desided to takeit easy, and just keep my didsance for a while, We dident talk all day, really , but we really dident talk till I umped into him, and we said Hi, but that was about it, - I honnestly am awfull about looks , but Im tryingot figyer it all out, - But Im glad he dose notice me. -I think I will persuade him later on, the Prom is not till April. Im just goingot give him time, We did talk yesterday about collage plans. but that was about it, Ido not pressure on the Prom though, becouse it is not my dissision to make for him. I just hope he will.

Usagi · Post by **Usagi** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 10:07 -0700

^^ Sorry I forgot to sighn in, that post was by me.

Qion · Post by **Qion** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 10:27 -0700

April? Oh-ho-ho... well then no sweat. Chil out and give him time, yeah. Better look for that dress. *thumbs up*

goandal · Post by **goandal** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 11:05 -0700

Not all guys are jerks. Don't have a narrow thinking of that. We're all human, we make mistakes and no one is perfect. There are some out there who are nice, sensitive and honest.

It's all a learning process. I just got married, 10 months now, and there's alot to learn from one another.

I read that book, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" (No promos here) and it truly helped me alot on things I say may be different to a womans ear.

I love my wife and the best thing that I appreciate about her is her forgiveness when I mess up and her commitment to be with me to the end.

I'm not telling you to rush things, but take your time have fun and learn from your experiences. I've known my wife for almost 9 years: Friends for 6 years, dated steady for 3 years and now we're married.

It's an investment that will have great blessings.

Again...have fun, learn, don't make it to complicated and enjoy life.

takematsu · Post by **takematsu** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 14:11 -0700

Agreement with the above-- My wife and I were just plain friends for at least two years before anything romantic developed. Hanging around together and chatting in a non-pressuring manner is a good way to see how things might develop. I will admit that in my previous posting, I thought the time to prom was a lot shorter, so I urged a more forceful pursuit.

Usagi · Post by **Usagi** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 14:36 -0700

yea Should have posted that up a lot sooner, aboutthe date of the Prome- Sorry guys ^^*

Well Im not to social, Acctually it appears all I ever do, beised other girls Is try to better myself in my education. I was in Speacial Education for 8 years, and this is my first time out of the Program, so I want to try and keep myself out of the SPED- for the rest of my seniour year, -On top of that, thinking of what I am goingot sdo with my life and just hanging with my Buddy Fumiko, ^^* Who, she is saddly not goingot her Juniore Prom.

I am glad i asked you guys hear, I figyerd you guys were onlder, and Probubly married and have defonetly gone threw the same road Im on. ^^* TYhanmk yall so much, I will taker all your comments in to practice, and go also, by what I think is right, -Im not rushing into a relationship done't get me wrong, Heith and I are good Firends, I just dont wantto be his GF and Im sure he feels the same now about being my BF- I just want him to go with me for the Obviouse ressions, and get to know him....maybe evin befor then, ^^* Hopefull I wont be in the JET Program anytime soon techinf in Japan or anything.....I'v had to Change my College majure two times alrweady -.-*

How to go hunt for the Size 1 Dress....toddles Ya'll

And thank you all so very much for helping, I could not really tell my folks so, I am glad ya'll took the time to help, I'll be sure to give you Updates soon ^^

goandal · Post by **goandal** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 16:14 -0700

You're welcome!

takematsu · Post by **takematsu** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 17:34 -0700

T'wern't nothin'. There's no point accumulating experience if you don't share it-- it's not like any of us are expecting replay the "high school" chapter of the game.