Usagi Yojimbo DojoBoard

http://kaorunoburogo.blogspot.com/2009/ ... n-ova.html

Don't have a Blogspot account? Then post comments in this thread if you wish. I like to know how good or bad my work is. ^-^

Here's some feedback:

I would suggest posting any of the spoiler material after the main review, that way one doesn't accidentally have anything spoiled for them while scrolling through the review to actually read the review. Or if you don't do that, mention where the spoilers end so that a reader doesn't have anything spoiled for them when searching for where the review begins.

You also repeat yourself under the "dub" and the "cons" sections. You could organize the information more neatly to do that. For instance, I would suggest mentioning your opinion of the dub in the con section since you didn't really seem to favor it. Just drop the entire "dub" section altogether.

You could also clean up your grammar mistakes so the the words flow more freely.

As to the review overall, it does the job. I'd probably skip seeing this myself based on your review. I probably wouldn't read any other of your reviews in the future, either, since you choose to review a character's speech as "CENSORED and fruity." I found that to be offensive, though I'm sure that wasn't your intention. I imagine you meant to say that the character was feminine in speech or mannerisms. Or is the character actually CENSORED? I'm unfamiliar with the series. I think you could do a better job of describing them without preying on stereotypes.

Hopefully this helps you out.

"I would suggest posting any of the spoiler material after the main review,"

Hmm... I'll think about that.

"You also repeat yourself under the "dub" and the "cons" sections. You could organize the information more neatly to do that. For instance, I would suggest mentioning your opinion of the dub in the con section since you didn't really seem to favor it. Just drop the entire "dub" section altogether"

Ok.


"You could also clean up your grammar mistakes so the the words flow more freely. "

I made grammar errors? And all this time I've been the grammar/spelling policeman on forums...

To be honest, I just worded it the way I would have worded it if I was actually talking. I guess spoken English doesn't convert to written English very well.

"As to the review overall, it does the job. I'd probably skip seeing this myself based on your review. I probably wouldn't read any other of your reviews in the future, either, since you choose to review a character's speech as "CENSORED and fruity." I found that to be offensive, though I'm sure that wasn't your intention. I imagine you meant to say that the character was feminine in speech or mannerisms. Or is the character actually CENSORED? I'm unfamiliar with the series. I think you could do a better job of describing them without preying on stereotypes."

I'm not homophobic, the dubbers just chose an extremely stereotypical mannerism to make him stand out. I'm pretty sure he isn't homosexual He doesn't sound that way in Japanese, otherwise I would not have mentioned it. I'm sorry I offended.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtV8gR7b4ic
4:59-5:34
It's the guy with the blue uniform and the big red nose. ^^;

Again, sorry for offending. I've edited that part so that it is (hopefully) no longer offensive. ^^;