One of my characters for a story I'm writing is supposed to be from the world of Usagi Yojimbo, and I felt this forum was the place to go for help with character development.
No, the only aspect that could POSSIBLY make it an UY fanfic is the occasional appearance of Usagi and Gennosuke (sorry if the spelling is wrong).
Anyways here he is
Kinzo Hattori
Age: 17
Occupation: Ninja
Species: Cat person
Race: Presumably Asian
Planet of origin: Earth ("Usagi Yojimbo" version)
Fur color: Blond
Eye color: Brown
Nationality: Japanese
Personality: Calm and reserved (though strange situations tend to make him break character... being from the "distant past" means that happens a lot)
Usagi Yojimbo is an American comic book series by Japanese-American comic book writer/artist Stan Sakai set in 17th century Japan.
My original UY-based character for a story I'm writing
Moderators: Mayhem, Steve Hubbell, Becky-Chan, Moderators
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SakuradaKaoru
- Shugyosha<Student Warrior>
- Posts: 141
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My original UY-based character for a story I'm writing
Last edited by SakuradaKaoru on Mon Mar 09, 2009 9:25 -0700, edited 1 time in total.
Hmm... how to best express myself in signature form?
Well, I'm back. I need to get back into the series, been so long since I read volume 7.
Well, I'm back. I need to get back into the series, been so long since I read volume 7.
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Steve Hubbell
- Taisho
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- Joined: Thu Sep 19, 2002 15:25 -0700
- Location: Kalamazoo, MI
Welcome to the Usagi Yojimbo Dojo forums, SakuradaKaoru. Even though your story might only be marginally considered UY fanfic, I think the fan art and fiction is still the most appropriate place for your inquiry.
Also, the description of your character Kinzo Hattori (related to the character Hanzo Hattori from Path of the Assassin or Kill Bill?) sounds interesting.
Hopefully, you will post some story segments or possibly some artwork featuring Kinzo here.
Abayo....
Also, the description of your character Kinzo Hattori (related to the character Hanzo Hattori from Path of the Assassin or Kill Bill?) sounds interesting.
Hopefully, you will post some story segments or possibly some artwork featuring Kinzo here.
Abayo....
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SakuradaKaoru
- Shugyosha<Student Warrior>
- Posts: 141
- Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 1:22 -0700
- Location: Medford, OR
- Contact:
Thankies.
I haven't written that far... the first appearance of the UY world is scheduled for the third story arc and I'm at the second. ^^'
I based Kinzo off the many pop-culture depictions of Hanzo. This was before I learned Hanzo was actually a samurai. XD
I'm not much of an artist... I guess he looks like a (cat person) cross between the DOA version of Ryu Hayabusa and a generic Neko Ninja.
He was raised in a secret village of ninjas, which got mostly wiped out by an invasion of demons (alright, I ripped that off of Inuyasha ^^').
The only survivors were a few children and old people who had shelters.
He first appears in a scene where he sees another story-original character fighting Usagi, and he tries to help. Even with assistance, the battle ends in defeat as the world of Usagi Yojimbo loses it's lifeline and deactivates. They later end up in the world of Soul Calibur, where they meet the main character of the story.
Note: In the story, Usagi Yojimbo characters speak mostly in modern-day American English due to their American origins... too gimmicky?
I haven't written that far... the first appearance of the UY world is scheduled for the third story arc and I'm at the second. ^^'
I based Kinzo off the many pop-culture depictions of Hanzo. This was before I learned Hanzo was actually a samurai. XD
I'm not much of an artist... I guess he looks like a (cat person) cross between the DOA version of Ryu Hayabusa and a generic Neko Ninja.
He was raised in a secret village of ninjas, which got mostly wiped out by an invasion of demons (alright, I ripped that off of Inuyasha ^^').
The only survivors were a few children and old people who had shelters.
He first appears in a scene where he sees another story-original character fighting Usagi, and he tries to help. Even with assistance, the battle ends in defeat as the world of Usagi Yojimbo loses it's lifeline and deactivates. They later end up in the world of Soul Calibur, where they meet the main character of the story.
Note: In the story, Usagi Yojimbo characters speak mostly in modern-day American English due to their American origins... too gimmicky?
Hmm... how to best express myself in signature form?
Well, I'm back. I need to get back into the series, been so long since I read volume 7.
Well, I'm back. I need to get back into the series, been so long since I read volume 7.
-
SakuradaKaoru
- Shugyosha<Student Warrior>
- Posts: 141
- Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 1:22 -0700
- Location: Medford, OR
- Contact:
-
Steve Hubbell
- Taisho
- Posts: 6050
- Joined: Thu Sep 19, 2002 15:25 -0700
- Location: Kalamazoo, MI
-
SakuradaKaoru
- Shugyosha<Student Warrior>
- Posts: 141
- Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 1:22 -0700
- Location: Medford, OR
- Contact:
How's it look? (Also, I'd like some help writing for Usagi, as he appears in 4 parts of the story so far.)
A samurai rabbit with his ears knotted walked down a path in a grassy field.
"Heh heh heh heh... so you're Miyamoto Usagi." a sinister voice behind him said.
The rabbit turned around to see a strange creature with dark red skin, no fur, five fingers, and long white hair. "Why are you following me?" he asked.
"Are you not Miyamoto Usagi, the hero of your world?" the stranger asked.
"Why do you want to know?" Usagi replied.
"Because I've been going from world to world, challenging the local heroes to protect their homeland. So far, not one has managed to defeat me even with me fighting at their level."
That was one crazy-sounding tale... "And what hapens if I lose?"
"Then I shall cut the lifeline to your world like I did to the worlds of the previous heroes, and stop it's existence!"
"And if I refuse to fight you?" Usagi asked.
The strange-looking man looked him in the eye and said "Then you lose by default."
Unconvinced of his opponent's claim, Usagi flatly stated "I refuse."
"Do you really believe that I'm making up wild stories? I'll porve to you that I can terminate your world's lifeline!" The stranger placed his hands together as if he were opening curtains, and pulled open a tear in reality. inside the tear was a flow of energy.
"You don't want me to stop the flow of energy, do you?" the stranger asked.
Usagi stared in shock at the strange sight. "How did you do that?" he asked.
"That's my secret, bunny-boy! Wilst thou fight for thine homeworld?"
Usagi could not have guesses that he was just being played with...
Meanwhile, in the distance, a cat man watched the whole thing... it would be hard to assasinate Usagi while that strange-looking person was there. How did he just appear out of nowhere, anyway? Not even a ninja could do it THAT well...
He saw Usagi draw his sword, and the stranger putting his arm out as a sword appeared in his hand... wait, the sword appeared out of nowhere?
-------------------------
Usagi seemed to be losing... his sense of honor wouldn't let him claim a reward for an task he wasn't actually responsible for!
Searching the pouch in his outfit, he pulled out a metal star and threw at the strange man. The strange man pulled it out with no observable ill effects... wasn't that star poisoned? Oh well, he'd start suffering soon.
A few more poisoned throwing stars... still no effect whatsoever.
It seemed Hattori Kinzo would have to fight the puncture-proof unpoisonable man-monster himself.
He ran behind the man-monster, and struck him in the back with his kunai. The man-monster screamed for a moment, and teleported in front of both Usagi and Kinzo as the kunai fell to the ground.
"If you're not going to fight fair, than neither will I." he said as he aimed his hands at the two animal people and released a blast of energy from each hand.
Kinzo felt weird... words were apearing in front of him and his hands were glowing. "Bunshin no Jutsu... Masenko... Makankosappo..." Hr got back onto his feet, pointed his index finger forward, and shouted "MAKANKOSAPPO!" as a beam of energy spiraled out of his finger towards the stranger. It went all the way through the stranger's heart, so that SHOULD have been the end of it.
It wasn't. The hole in his chest/back healed up.
"Go ahead, would-be hero, Show me what you can do now that your powers have activated."
Kinzo walked up to the stranger, dealt exactly one hundred blows to the person's vital points on his head and chest, and said "You are already dead.",A few seconds later, the stranger's head started swelling up as he grabbed it in pain and... nothing happened. The swelling reversed itself..
"Nope, not gonna work,"
Strange. According to the floating words, his head should have exploded.
The stranger looked Kinzo in the eye and said "You don't seem to be very used to your own powers. May I show you what our kind can do with a little experience?" His fists crackled with electricity as he punched Kinzo hard and shouted "DENKOU PUNCH!"
Kinzo's body registered nothing but pain as he blacked out A moment later, everything around the stranger, Usagi, and Kinzo stopped as the scenery became colorless and Usagi's world ceased to be.
A samurai rabbit with his ears knotted walked down a path in a grassy field.
"Heh heh heh heh... so you're Miyamoto Usagi." a sinister voice behind him said.
The rabbit turned around to see a strange creature with dark red skin, no fur, five fingers, and long white hair. "Why are you following me?" he asked.
"Are you not Miyamoto Usagi, the hero of your world?" the stranger asked.
"Why do you want to know?" Usagi replied.
"Because I've been going from world to world, challenging the local heroes to protect their homeland. So far, not one has managed to defeat me even with me fighting at their level."
That was one crazy-sounding tale... "And what hapens if I lose?"
"Then I shall cut the lifeline to your world like I did to the worlds of the previous heroes, and stop it's existence!"
"And if I refuse to fight you?" Usagi asked.
The strange-looking man looked him in the eye and said "Then you lose by default."
Unconvinced of his opponent's claim, Usagi flatly stated "I refuse."
"Do you really believe that I'm making up wild stories? I'll porve to you that I can terminate your world's lifeline!" The stranger placed his hands together as if he were opening curtains, and pulled open a tear in reality. inside the tear was a flow of energy.
"You don't want me to stop the flow of energy, do you?" the stranger asked.
Usagi stared in shock at the strange sight. "How did you do that?" he asked.
"That's my secret, bunny-boy! Wilst thou fight for thine homeworld?"
Usagi could not have guesses that he was just being played with...
Meanwhile, in the distance, a cat man watched the whole thing... it would be hard to assasinate Usagi while that strange-looking person was there. How did he just appear out of nowhere, anyway? Not even a ninja could do it THAT well...
He saw Usagi draw his sword, and the stranger putting his arm out as a sword appeared in his hand... wait, the sword appeared out of nowhere?
-------------------------
Usagi seemed to be losing... his sense of honor wouldn't let him claim a reward for an task he wasn't actually responsible for!
Searching the pouch in his outfit, he pulled out a metal star and threw at the strange man. The strange man pulled it out with no observable ill effects... wasn't that star poisoned? Oh well, he'd start suffering soon.
A few more poisoned throwing stars... still no effect whatsoever.
It seemed Hattori Kinzo would have to fight the puncture-proof unpoisonable man-monster himself.
He ran behind the man-monster, and struck him in the back with his kunai. The man-monster screamed for a moment, and teleported in front of both Usagi and Kinzo as the kunai fell to the ground.
"If you're not going to fight fair, than neither will I." he said as he aimed his hands at the two animal people and released a blast of energy from each hand.
Kinzo felt weird... words were apearing in front of him and his hands were glowing. "Bunshin no Jutsu... Masenko... Makankosappo..." Hr got back onto his feet, pointed his index finger forward, and shouted "MAKANKOSAPPO!" as a beam of energy spiraled out of his finger towards the stranger. It went all the way through the stranger's heart, so that SHOULD have been the end of it.
It wasn't. The hole in his chest/back healed up.
"Go ahead, would-be hero, Show me what you can do now that your powers have activated."
Kinzo walked up to the stranger, dealt exactly one hundred blows to the person's vital points on his head and chest, and said "You are already dead.",A few seconds later, the stranger's head started swelling up as he grabbed it in pain and... nothing happened. The swelling reversed itself..
"Nope, not gonna work,"
Strange. According to the floating words, his head should have exploded.
The stranger looked Kinzo in the eye and said "You don't seem to be very used to your own powers. May I show you what our kind can do with a little experience?" His fists crackled with electricity as he punched Kinzo hard and shouted "DENKOU PUNCH!"
Kinzo's body registered nothing but pain as he blacked out A moment later, everything around the stranger, Usagi, and Kinzo stopped as the scenery became colorless and Usagi's world ceased to be.
Hmm... how to best express myself in signature form?
Well, I'm back. I need to get back into the series, been so long since I read volume 7.
Well, I'm back. I need to get back into the series, been so long since I read volume 7.
-
SakuradaKaoru
- Shugyosha<Student Warrior>
- Posts: 141
- Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 1:22 -0700
- Location: Medford, OR
- Contact:
-
Steve Hubbell
- Taisho
- Posts: 6050
- Joined: Thu Sep 19, 2002 15:25 -0700
- Location: Kalamazoo, MI
Even though I am not a big reader of fan fiction, I know there are some who visit the Dojo forum who are. Unfortunately, not everyone visits the Dojo forum on a daily basis and you might have to wait a bit for replies.
I read the portion you posted and it reads nicely, but I am not a very good critic or reviewer (which is why I don't write reviews of the new issues of Usagi when they are released, or other stuff I am interested in).
Be patient and someone might come along eventually and offer their opinions, comments or criticisms. I think most of the regular visitors are more apt to offer comments on posted arwork and drawings rather than on written work and story ideas. Unfortunately, again, I have no idea why that is.
I read the portion you posted and it reads nicely, but I am not a very good critic or reviewer (which is why I don't write reviews of the new issues of Usagi when they are released, or other stuff I am interested in).
Be patient and someone might come along eventually and offer their opinions, comments or criticisms. I think most of the regular visitors are more apt to offer comments on posted arwork and drawings rather than on written work and story ideas. Unfortunately, again, I have no idea why that is.